Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Sabotage

By a show of hands, tell me if you've ever sabotaged yourself.

My guess is you're holding your hand up. 

We all do this, don't we? Whether we mean to or not, we do it. When something really amazing is on the horizon, we mess it up because we're scared or worried. When we're so close to achieving something awesome, we purposely slow down or don't finish the project so we don't fail. Or we start working on something else because a shiny new idea takes form in our brains. Or we take on so many other things and say yes to everyone else instead of ourselves because we need to feel like we don't actually have the time to make our own lives better.

Sound familiar? If so, then keep reading. We need to fix this and make ourselves stand up and show up for our own lives. It isn't easy, but it's worth it to be there for yourself.

For me, it happens a lot with my writing. I decide I want to write a lot more and set some ambitious goals. But then the universe tests me by sending me all kinds of client work. I accept it because 1) I am a human who needs to make money and 2) I love working with my clients, reading their work, and polishing it up for them. But the fact is that saying yes to that work means saying no to working on my own fiction. Even though it sounds like an excuse, it's tough for me to edit someone else's fictional world all day and then write in my own. To put out my best work, I shouldn't do both. So I don't.

So I moved to writing more nonfiction. Problem solved. Right?

Not. Then the universe tested me yet again by throwing another paid opportunity my way. And I said yes because I truly respect what this company is doing and use their website myself a ton. It's really changed my life and the way/how much I produce. So I'm happy to work with them to help them out. But that also means saying no to using my time for my own work.

Cut to this past week where a client missed a deadline so I had some time to catch up on my book - and I wrote it in 4 1/2 days. Not cool, you guys. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm glad I got it done. I'm proud of it and really excited to publish it. But shit. I never want to do that again. I NEED to stick to my plan. Or at least some semblance of it so I don't need to catch up that quickly or be in danger of not keeping a promise to myself.

Which means I need to make new promises to myself.

I'd be lying if I said I'm not enticed by working on projects where I'm guaranteed money when I'm done. But, in the end, my goal is to be paid for my books and make my income from my own work, whether that includes books, videos, courses, coaching, etc. I don't know what all of that looks like yet, but I certainly want it to be from my own stuff. The stuff I create and put out into the universe to help gorgeous, amazing people who want to better themselves like you.

So I HAVE to keep producing work. I can't afford to put my goals and my work aside for money I'll make once right now when my work can be sold to multiple people as many times as people will buy it. I HAVE to stop sabotaging myself by saying yes to everything. I need to be choosier with how I spend my time. I need to work harder to say no to Facebook, email 29846 times a day, etc. I need to remember that not everything is a fire and I can put them out later, not in the middle of work time. I need to trust my intuition more. And I chose not to do graphics for this post because it was preventing me from writing this up. Sometimes you have to change it up and work through it to get to the other side. And here we are.

So I promise to trust my gut. I promise to get more in tune with my intuition. I promise to look out for myself, stay the course, and pursue my future even if it means saying no to something that, on paper, would make sense. I promise to speak up for my health and not compromise it just to go along with the status quo. I promise to make reasonable goals and set a sustainable pace. And I promise not to be too rigid.

It's your turn now. What about you? 

What do you need to work on to make sure you don't sabotage yourself anymore? What promises do you need to make in order to live a life you love so much more? Let me know, and tell me how I can help hold you to it. :)

Vibe high, friends.


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Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Pace

While I struggle with several things, this one could take the crown. I don't know about you, but I'm an "all in or all out" kind of person. All or nothing. So, last year, when my friend and dental hygienist asked me how many days a week I should start flossing to build the habit (I should have already had), I didn't hesitate before saying, "Seven." I'm either all in or all out. None of this "three days a week at first to start" crap for me.

Guess what though? I followed through. Because that's the thing about all-or-nothing people. We agree, we make a plan, and we follow through. Even if it kills us. Which somethings can come close if we're not careful. And that's why PACE is so important to consider. Flossing takes a minute out of your life, so it's not a big deal to add that to your nightly routine. But bigger things? Those lofty goals we want to pursue? Yeah... Those need careful consideration when it comes to the pace we decide to go with.

You need to adopt a sustainable pace or you'll run yourself into the ground.

I wish I could tell you that I didn't learn this the hard way. And I wish even harder that I could tell you I've learned my lesson and always set a sustainable pace from the get-go. Unfortunately, those would both be lies. I've learned the very hard way, and I'm still learning. Sometimes it's easier than others, but other times I just want to rush into things headlong and accomplish them as soon as possible.

What we forget when we do that, though, is that we'll miss out on the beautiful journey as we go from point A to point B. Reaching your goal isn't the only incredible part about embarking on that voyage. Experiencing life and enjoying the process - those things are so valuable and often missed out on when we rush and let perfectionism, overwhelm, and then guilt take over.

So slow the hell down, okay?


It's OKAY to take things slower than you think they should go. It's okay to start from the ground up and learn lessons along the way. It's okay if it takes you five years when it took your friend two. It's okay to make mistakes, change tactics, and even decide that a goal isn't right for you anymore. It's okay to slow down and enjoy the journey.

What isn't okay is working yourself to death. If you love your work, go for it. But remember that we MUST rest, eat properly, move our bodies, and generally take care of ourselves. You won't last very long if you're constantly GO GO GO and not refilling your tank. It's not okay to run yourself ragged. Exhaustion is not a badge of honor. It's not a competition to see how much more you can get done than the next person.

Life is meant to be enjoyed - even when you're in the thick of a goal or a deadline.

One thing I've needed to remember is that we can't take anything with us when we die. Not our money, not our status, not our accomplishments - it all stays here on the physical plane. Sure, it'll be here long after we're gone, but what good is it to you if you're dead? Enjoy life NOW. You won't get another chance like this to experience the things in your life exactly how they are right now.

So the best advice I have for you is to find a pace you can sustain. If you love what you do and want to do it for a long time, your pace must suit your health. You can only do what you love if you're healthy enough to do it. So taking care of yourself must be added into the equation. Exercise and proper nutrition do not go into the "if I have time" categories - they must be taken care of first. Only then can you accomplish everything you want to accomplish.

Take care of yourself, people. 


What I suggest is to take a look at your calendar for the month. Write down anything you've committed to already: meetings, appointments, work, dinners, kids' activities. Then pencil in time to take care of your body and your mind: exercise, meditation, gratitude practice, your morning routine, self-care. THEN include the goals you have. If they're so big that you need to cancel some meetings, appointments, or dinners, reschedule events, find someone else to shuffle the kids from practice to practice, do it - but only do it if you feel good about it. Don't regret not going to that family reunion and having a fun time because you were bogged down with this goal you've lost sight of and doesn't feel good anymore.

Reevaluate everything you've planned for your goal and decide if your pace is sustainable for the long term or if you're going to drive yourself crazy in the short term to get it done. Be VERY realistic with yourself. Remember that life happens and we get sick, hurt, and/or surprised by emergencies. Be a little more flexible with your all-or-nothing mentality and allow yourself a break if you miss a smaller goal on your way to a bigger one. Be friendly with the terms "adjust" and "no."

And, sure, feel free to be strict with yourself. Don't let the goal slide because you didn't feel like doing it. That's not a good excuse. Though I may advise you take a good, hard look at a goal if you don't feel like working on it. Have firm, steady reasons for WHY you're extending yourself the way you are, and then go for it. But make sure the pace you're setting from the outset is one that won't run you straight into the ground. Build habits you can live with, not ones that exhaust you in the end. Nothing is worth having to bounce back from that kind of unhealthy behavior.

Vibe high, friends.


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Monday, August 6, 2018

Overwhelm

Overwhelm. This is a huge problem for people-pleasers (like me) and empaths (like me), but it can be a huge problem for anyone. We say yes to a lot of things and then set goals we could probably reach if we worked nonstop. We take our best days and turn them into the standard, but that pace isn't sustainable - yet we don't seem to care. Then we fall behind, and the more behind we get, the more we fall into despair. And then, at the bottom, we sink into that mode where nothing at all gets done, we don't see the sunlight for three days straight, and just getting out of bed is a win because we've made ourselves physically sick.

Ugh.

Maybe it's not that extreme for you, but maybe you read that paragraph and knew exactly what I was talking about from experience. Maybe you've been right in those shoes. Or maybe you're there right now and wondering what the heck to do about it. Maybe you're a perfectionist through and through and can't get out of the rut that is feeling like a failure all the time because you didn't do things just right.

So how do you deal with overwhelm?



It isn't easy. It becomes this trap you keep falling into if you don't change your behavior. It turns into a mess you can't seem to find a way out of. Every day, you fall more and more behind on the things you wanted to accomplish, yet you keep saying yes to things because they sound like good opportunities on the surface. Maybe you're freelance and you need clients to stay in business, so you accept every project thrown your way. Been there, done that - it's not pretty.

If you're like me, you set these crazy unattainable goals. You think you can achieve them because, on your best days, you can produce like a maniac. Which means you set your targets so high that missing ONE day is devastating to your progress. Then you recalculate and realize you need to add MORE to your BEST in order to hit that goal. But that's nearly impossible to do without crashing. So what do you do?

The answer: focus on your needs.

Yes, you need clients. Yes, you need to create content. But those aren't needs in the basic sense. You need rest. You need food. You need exercise. You need to recharge. You need human connection. You need to grow and learn and evolve, and there's no time for any of those things if you're stuck in production mode. You have to break the cycle. Then you need to change your behavior.

Because things around you will not change unless you do. 


You have to go back to the fundamentals and make sure your true needs are being met. Then go from there. Let go of worry and say yes to the things you truly want to say yes to. Say no when things don't feel right to do. If the money from the project won't be worth what it's going to take to earn it, NO is a perfectly good word to pull from your vocabulary. But, if you're feeling jazzed at the thought of working on something, go for it! The money (since I'm sure that's part of the boiled-down reason of why you overwhelm yourself in the first place) will follow in some way. Trust in the universe.

I've found more abundance in my life by simply not worrying about it all. The more we focus on what we want to happen in a positive way, the more it'll come to you. But if you focus on the lack, you'll find more of the lack. Stay positive, y'all. It can seem frivolous and too rose-colored-glasses sometimes, but I swear it works.

So where do you start?

My suggestion is to start with your breath. Take a deep one, put your hand over your heart, and remember why you're here. This life is meant to be filled with experience. So this overwhelm is part of your experience. You are meant to experience this and learn from it. Grow from it. Evolve your systems and methods of production because of it. So FEEL it. Don't be afraid of it. Lean in toward it and get everything you can out of it.

Is it showing you that your pace is unsustainable? Have you set goals you can't reach while taking proper care of your health? Are you saying yes to things you don't even want to do, things that are negatively affecting your mind and body? Learn from this overwhelm and switch things up. Show up for yourself and accept flexibility. Maybe even develop routines and habits (discipline) to get out of the rut. Figure out what's reasonable for you so you can work with joy and peace and still take care of yourself.

Then set proper boundaries. Write it all out if you have to so you don't forget, too. Make sure you're clear with yourself when it comes to what you'll accept and what you won't. Dig deep to find what feels right for yourself. Feel free to get feedback, but in the end, you're the one who has to live with the decisions you make. So you should be the final say in what you'll put up with, accept, and work on. Reinforcing your self-worth can be huge for this.

In summary: take a breath, get reasonable, and set boundaries.


It may not be easy. At all. And it may not cure the overwhelm completely. You may backslide and end up in an overwhelmed state later. For now though, it'll make you feel better, which will help you take better care of yourself. Drop the worry and let things flow to you. Forcing them to happen only results in friction and frustration. So take a deep breath, figure out what's reasonable, and set the boundaries you don't want to cross any longer. Put one foot in front of the other as you pay close attention to your health and build yourself back up to a person who can do more as you grow.

You won't be stuck at this beginning forever, just like you won't be stuck in overwhelm forever. But you have to start somewhere, and it might as well be from the bottom. By doing that, you'll have a much bigger and better appreciation for the top once you reach it.

Vibe high, friends.











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Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Positivity

Positivity is my jam, y'all. So much so that I've created a platform centered on it. All of my work revolves around being positive, kind, and productive, and after years of publishing journals for you to work with, I've started publishing actual books. And the first one, naturally, is about positivity.

But why? Why be positive in a world full of chaos?

It's not always easy to do. Being positive can require more mental energy until you build that habit of always looking on the bright side for the silver lining. But, once you've done that, it'll be so much easier to automatically find the positive part of each situation. You'll see what you can learn and how you can grow instead of wallowing in the parts that went wrong.

Being positive helps you evolve and live a happier life. Both of those things are very important to me, so I've built my life's work around helping others get there. I have lots more coming on the topics of positivity, kindness, and productivity (because I believe they're all interconnected), so stay tuned. For now, let's dive into how to get there.

What ways do you use to cultivate positivity?


Some of my favorite ways include setting intention, building a gratitude practice, and looking at everything as a blessing. All three of these combined have guided me toward a more consistent positive outlook that reduces stress and worry and improves my sleep, my overall health, and my desire to be kind and productive.

Setting intention is important because it helps you set the tone for the day. To set an intention, close your eyes and picture your day ahead. You can use actual visualization for this and see in your mind's eye what you want to happen that day. How will your interactions go? How will you use your time? What kind of attitude will you adopt? Will you have structure to your day? Think about these things and repeat a one-line phrase in your head that will set your intention. It can be something like, "Today, I will be kind to others and stay present in all moments," or "I aim to be productive and keep a smile on my face all day." Whatever you want to focus on that day is your intention, so set one wisely. I have a whole journal based on this very idea too!

Building a gratitude practice has become SO crucial to me. This is something I do literally before I even open my eyes in the morning. Once I'm awake, I go straight to thinking about things I'm grateful for. I aim for at least three, but I usually have no problem thinking of more now that it's become a habit. It started slowly at first, but the more you use the third technique I mentioned above (looking at everything as a blessing), you start to find it much easier to list things you're grateful for. You can write them down to keep track if you'd like. In fact, all of my journals have a place to list three things you're grateful for each day. It's been a staple in them since the very first one, and I don't see that ever changing. Gratitude is extremely powerful when you fully let it into your heart.

Looking at everything as a blessing is the final piece of this puzzle. When you view everything you go through and everyone you meet as something beneficial in some way, things change for you. You no longer lament about how things aren't working out how they're supposed to. You no longer get caught up in negative thinking patterns. Instead, you see things for what they are: stepping stones to the next version of you. Seeing things as miracles means you default to finding gratitude and appreciation for what is instead of what could have been. Find the miracle in everything and you'll always move forward.

Set intention. Be grateful. See blessings.


There are SO many other things you can do to find more positivity in your life. You can also meditate, regularly do yoga or other exercise, work on eating for nutrition, get out into the sun/nature each day, and many other things to build a positivity practice. Anything that helps you reframe your attitude to a positive one, that reminds you how beautiful life is, can help.

One of the things I'd suggest is checking out my new book. I know, I know - cheesy sales pitch here. But I wouldn't pitch it if I didn't think it could help. Writing it helped me view positivity in a whole new way, and I'd be remiss if I didn't spread the work I do, because it's all about finding more positivity, kindness, and productivity to be the best YOU you can be. That's what I want to see from you as I work on it with you.

And it's called YOU! You: The Positivity Alphabet


Each letter of the alphabet is represented by three words that I believe describe positivity. I make the caveat that you WILL NOT be ALL of these things ALL the time. I'm certainly not. It's just not possible (or maybe it is and that's the story I'm telling myself). But you CAN work on them individually to make the whole of you more positive and kind. And, thus, more apt to be a productive member of society. It's good all around, really. So start with a positivity practice to live a happier, healthier, calmer life. And if you need more suggestions or help, I'm always an email away.

Vibe high, friends.


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Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Worth

Have you ever experienced "imposter syndrome"? If you're not familiar with what that is, it's when you're in a group of qualified and amazing people and you feel like you don't belong. Chances are this has happened to you before. This quite literally described me last week when I went to a Vegan Boss Ladies meeting here in the Phoenix valley.

I was surrounded by all of these beautiful, talented, well-spoken women who have businesses, dreams, and goals they've seen through to fruition. They were philanthropists, educated, brilliant, and passionate. They seemed put together and driven.

And then there I was.

Now, I'm not saying I don't believe in my own self-worth. I know what I'm capable of. I know how much I can do and accomplish. And I know what I've already accomplished. I too have dreams and goals and businesses. In fact, I started a high-five-figure business from the ground up six years ago without a college degree and while working a full-time job. And I did so well with another business venture and ramped up way too quickly that I just couldn't do it on my own and needed to get vulnerable and ask for help. I'm fucking resourceful and powerful, yo. But I'm no businesswoman in most senses of the word. Which brings me to this question:

What do you base your worth on?



Did I not belong in that room because I'm lacking a few skills that could help my businesses boom? Did I not belong in that group because I'm not making that much money even though I'm working just as hard? Did I not belong in that meeting because I'm not as experienced as some of those incredible women?

Or was that just my own fear and insecurity making me fear those things?

It's definitely that: my own fear and insecurity. I was there because I knew I'd meet women I could learn from. I went to that meeting because I knew I'd find people I could help with my skills. I attended because it was outside my comfort zone and something inside me is calling out to be a total badass in every area of my business. So I had to give it a shot. That didn't stop me from feeling like an imposter because of my lack of a balance sheet, but I also didn't realize I'd feel that way before I got there.

Which makes me even more glad that I went and experienced that.

I wasn't the smartest in the room. I wasn't the prettiest in the room. I wasn't the most experienced in the room. I wasn't the richest one in the room. I might not have been the poorest one in the room, either. But none of that mattered. I just needed to have different skills so I could teach and be taught. We were there to network and gain new opportunities. Being just like them would have defeated the purpose.

So I was worthy of being there just the way I was.


I went there to get help and help out. So I don't need to be making X amount of dollars to be in the group. I don't need to perform a certain function or have a certain business. I just need to be me and do what I do. I will offer whatever help I can and learn whatever anyone will teach me. My willingness to show up was the first step in growing my business and getting serious about my monetary goals. That goal or where I stand today on my way to it has nothing to do with my worth.

What I do about it, however, does.

I don't want money to be part of how I measure my worth. Instead, I'll measure that by how much good I do. How much I contribute to the collective good. What kind of energy I put out into the universe. How much I help others. How much I get done in my own life. How close I inch toward my own goals.

My worth is based on who I am, not how much of a living I make. 

Am I happy? Yes. Do I enjoy what I do? Yes. Am I blessed to work at home? Yes. Do I work hard as hell? Yes. Am I productive with my time? Yes. Do I love my work? Yes. Am I helping other people? Yes. Do I learn as I create content? Yes.

Then what in the heck was I feeling inadequate about? Money. It was just money. I felt illegitimate because I'm not making money. I felt like I didn't belong because I don't have all the skills for my businesses. I felt like an imposter because I treat my businesses like they're full-time hobbies instead of getting real about the business side of things.

But my worth doesn't revolve around money and that's that.


That meeting has brought so many things to light for me. Whether or not anything external comes from having gone to it almost doesn't matter. I've learned so much about myself and how I feel about things that it was 100% worth it already.

I've learned humility and that I need to ask for help because I can't do it all. I've learned that part of me is okay with writing always being a hobby because then I'll continue to love it and not feel pressure. I've learned that another part of me has been hiding behind many fear-based excuses. And I've learned that another part of me is sick of it.

Can you relate to any of this? Have you ever felt inadequate for any reason? Remember that you're not. You're just YOU. You're always capable of learning new skills, writing a different story, and creating a better outcome for yourself. Whoever you are today is magic, and you are in the perfect position to grow into the person you're going to become. Never lose sight of that.

Vibe high, friends.



PS - If you're up for it, set some new goals to banish the idea that you aren't worthy of achieving them. Use my Goal-Setting Worksheet (totally free!) to write the (reasonable) goal, set a deadline, name a reward, and record step-by-step tasks to achieving the goal. You'll get there in no time with this method, and it'll make you feel really accomplished.

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Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Organization

Using Sunday nights to plan my week is one of the best decisions I've ever made (it's up there with going vegan, moving to Arizona, and marrying Husband). It's so easy to do (most of the time), and it usually doesn't take up any extra time. I usually spend Sunday evenings winding down and watching TV with Husband, so now, I grab my planner and map my week out. Easy peasy.

I love it when things are that simple.

Writing things down helps you stay so much more organized. Our brains aren't meant to remember every little thing that comes across our desks and into our lives. So do yourself a favor and make a note of it! Even if it's just in the note app on your phone. Put it into words you can come back to and get it out of your head. Just make sure these notes are in a place you check often. Otherwise, you'll forget. And the whole point of writing the note is so you don't forget!

Stay organized and your life will be a little easier.


Your organizational method of choice shouldn't be complicated. It needs to be something you enjoy. Otherwise, you won't maintain organization. So find a method you like to do and go from there. Like I said above, one of my favorite ways is to plan my week on Sundays so I know exactly what I need to get done each day. It keeps me on a schedule (a.k.a. a routine), but the schedule all depends on what I have to do that week.

For instance, this Sunday, I wrote "MRJ blog post" down on Monday (the day I'm writing this) so I was aware that it needed to get done ahead of its scheduled Tuesday publish time. And here it is, right on time, all because I wrote it down. Sure, I had to put the work in, but at least it didn't slip through the cracks like it has in the past.

What gets written down has a chance of getting done.

If you can't even remember that you have to do it, believe me - there's no chance of it coming to fruition. But that doesn't mean that EVERYTHING you write down will be accomplished. Within our organizational skills, we have to know what we're capable of. Sometimes we overestimate how much we can do, how long something might take, or how many smaller tasks a big project is. This can lead to frustration and irritation - and even abandonment of our goals.

But you can choose to react differently to those things. Instead, you can work in perfecting your organizational skills and go with the flow of nature. Things won't always work out the way we want them to, but if we take control of the things we have control over (which is generally how we spend our time and the way we react to the situations we're in), then we'll have some semblance of organization. And it works wonders for productivity.

So write things down! Stay organized! Then rinse and repeat.


Organization sometimes includes reorganizing, so make sure you stay flexible with your schedule and remember that things might need to be rearranged to get done. When we're planning, we can't take every single thing into account - because we can't predict the future. So be okay with not being so rigid. Take a deep breath and recommit to your goals. It'll get done when it needs to, and our plans are just that - plans. Those can change.

But I believe it's better to have a plan and engage in a little discipline than go into your week all willy nilly with no map in the dark. If you have big dreams and goals, you need a plan. Otherwise, you'll find that things magically don't get done. Fears sabotage you and insecurities get the better of you. You'll allow excuses to creep in and suddenly nothing was accomplished all week, all month, all year - all because you weren't even sure what you needed to do.

Get organized. It can make or break dreams.

So, as you go after your big goals, find an organization method that works for your life. Sundays are prime time to not only plan the week before, but also to celebrate the wins from the previous week to keep your eye on the prize and your mind motivated and inspired. So I love pulling my planner out and writing what I plan on doing each day so I stay current and on top of my goals. I have a zillion books to write before I die (seriously, that's the exact number), so without a plan, I'm never going to get that done. I'd be happy today if I sat on the couch and binge-watched Dawson's Creek (my current obsession and object of my latest rewatch), but I'll be happier on release day when my finished book is in my hands and other people can read it and feel inspired. Being organized helps me reach that goal.

So what kind of organizational skills do you bring to the table? What's your favorite method and how does it work for you? I didn't talk much about how to be more organized than just making a plan, but we can talk about those steps soon. Things like reverse-engineering your goals into baby steps, having a reward system, etc. Soon! ;) For now, let me know what keeps you organized. A filing system? Color coding? Separate notebooks for separate projects? What do YOU do?

Vibe high, friends.


PS - If organizing in the morning is your thing, I have a brand-new journal out that's perfect for that. The Morning Routine Edition of my Daily Q&A journals is all about building a solid, perfect morning routine to start your day off right. Let me know if you check it out!
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Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Routine

As I write these words about how crucial routine can be, it's important for you to know that I've somewhat abandoned it these past two weeks. That's because my schedule (and workload) changed, so I'm trying to find a new one, though it won't be permanent because my schedule (and workload) will change again after next week. So I'm flailing about, just trying to get things done in some kind of a routine.

Which is the perfect time to tell you why one is so important. *wink*

Last week, we talked about resistance. And that bleeds into today's post about routine because a lot of you might be resisting routine (like I usually am). Today, I wouldn't say I'm actively resisting it, but I sure am not participating in it very well. I have a vague whisper of a routine, sure. I wake up (sometimes in time to get a long walk in), my husband heads off to work, I cut a watermelon open to eat, and then I get to work. Work time is until my husband gets home from work, so that's where the vague part of the routine comes in. Then we do dinner and chill for the night.

But work time needs a better routine. And so does the morning.


A morning routine sets the tone for the day. If you wake up late and feel rushed, chances are the rest of the day will feel the same way. But, if you wake up earlier and have time to quietly spend your morning doing things you love - things that set the tone for calmness and peace - you'll probably have a different day.

That's not the day I'm having today. Just to be clear.

Today, I woke up too late (just like yesterday) for my walk. Which also means I ended up not doing the other things I love to do (meditation, tea with my goddess cards) because those come before my walk. I threw my whole routine out the window just because I missed part of it. Then, by the time I got to work (which is right now), I'm feeling out of it and not ready.

Sure, some might argue that's because I have a routine in the first place. If I didn't have that routine, I wouldn't have felt like a failure. I wouldn't have felt like I'd missed out and then given up instead. But I'd argue that the routine isn't the problem. The problem isn't that I have a routine and didn't wake up early enough to do it. The problem isn't that a routine puts us in a box and keeps us rigid.

The problem is always me. 

Having a routine doesn't mean we HAVE to follow it to the letter every day. You should still be flexible with your time and what you do with it. And that flexibility can still be part of a routine. That's where I've been struggling lately. So the routine is never the problem. We are.

If you're never making time for the routine, figure out why. If your routine is making you stressed, change it up. If your routine is too long, shorten it. If your routine isn't helping you, explore what will instead. Your routine should work FOR you. Help you. A morning routine should get you amped for the day. A work routine should get you in the spirit of productivity. So what can you do to amplify your life as far as a routine goes?

Do you have a routine? Do you feel like it helps you?


Some of my favorite routine items are meditation, walks around my neighborhood, journaling, organizing my day, prepping snacks, a golden milk latte during a writing session, Focusmate meetings, and gratitude cultivation. Yours can be whatever work for you: budget review, meal prepping, exercise, showering, to-do lists, reading, etc. Maybe a bedtime routine is more your thing: brushing, flossing, meditation, prayer, and/or reading. These routines can get you set up for your day, for your work, and for your sleep. So use them to your advantage.

Let me know in the comments what kind of routine things you do and how they help you. Rituals can truly set the mood, and if that helps, do it! By all means, do what you can do to make your life spectacular. Know that you'll have "bad" days and times when the routines don't work out or come to fruition very well. But also know that you'll have great days where the routines come naturally and really help you. And it can take time to build the "perfect" routine, though be aware when something truly isn't working and you need to switch it up. All in all, you got this. :)

Vibe high, friends.


PS - Speaking of routine... I have a brand-new journal out today, and it's more of a workbook. It's the Morning Routine edition, which I'm really proud to share with you. It took a lot of work to put together, way more than my other journals. So I hope you enjoy it! I'm going to start doing some live videos with it over on my Mickey Reed FB page, so be sure to "like" that page so we can build a morning routine together! See you there!
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