Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Sabotage

By a show of hands, tell me if you've ever sabotaged yourself.

My guess is you're holding your hand up. 

We all do this, don't we? Whether we mean to or not, we do it. When something really amazing is on the horizon, we mess it up because we're scared or worried. When we're so close to achieving something awesome, we purposely slow down or don't finish the project so we don't fail. Or we start working on something else because a shiny new idea takes form in our brains. Or we take on so many other things and say yes to everyone else instead of ourselves because we need to feel like we don't actually have the time to make our own lives better.

Sound familiar? If so, then keep reading. We need to fix this and make ourselves stand up and show up for our own lives. It isn't easy, but it's worth it to be there for yourself.

For me, it happens a lot with my writing. I decide I want to write a lot more and set some ambitious goals. But then the universe tests me by sending me all kinds of client work. I accept it because 1) I am a human who needs to make money and 2) I love working with my clients, reading their work, and polishing it up for them. But the fact is that saying yes to that work means saying no to working on my own fiction. Even though it sounds like an excuse, it's tough for me to edit someone else's fictional world all day and then write in my own. To put out my best work, I shouldn't do both. So I don't.

So I moved to writing more nonfiction. Problem solved. Right?

Not. Then the universe tested me yet again by throwing another paid opportunity my way. And I said yes because I truly respect what this company is doing and use their website myself a ton. It's really changed my life and the way/how much I produce. So I'm happy to work with them to help them out. But that also means saying no to using my time for my own work.

Cut to this past week where a client missed a deadline so I had some time to catch up on my book - and I wrote it in 4 1/2 days. Not cool, you guys. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm glad I got it done. I'm proud of it and really excited to publish it. But shit. I never want to do that again. I NEED to stick to my plan. Or at least some semblance of it so I don't need to catch up that quickly or be in danger of not keeping a promise to myself.

Which means I need to make new promises to myself.

I'd be lying if I said I'm not enticed by working on projects where I'm guaranteed money when I'm done. But, in the end, my goal is to be paid for my books and make my income from my own work, whether that includes books, videos, courses, coaching, etc. I don't know what all of that looks like yet, but I certainly want it to be from my own stuff. The stuff I create and put out into the universe to help gorgeous, amazing people who want to better themselves like you.

So I HAVE to keep producing work. I can't afford to put my goals and my work aside for money I'll make once right now when my work can be sold to multiple people as many times as people will buy it. I HAVE to stop sabotaging myself by saying yes to everything. I need to be choosier with how I spend my time. I need to work harder to say no to Facebook, email 29846 times a day, etc. I need to remember that not everything is a fire and I can put them out later, not in the middle of work time. I need to trust my intuition more. And I chose not to do graphics for this post because it was preventing me from writing this up. Sometimes you have to change it up and work through it to get to the other side. And here we are.

So I promise to trust my gut. I promise to get more in tune with my intuition. I promise to look out for myself, stay the course, and pursue my future even if it means saying no to something that, on paper, would make sense. I promise to speak up for my health and not compromise it just to go along with the status quo. I promise to make reasonable goals and set a sustainable pace. And I promise not to be too rigid.

It's your turn now. What about you? 

What do you need to work on to make sure you don't sabotage yourself anymore? What promises do you need to make in order to live a life you love so much more? Let me know, and tell me how I can help hold you to it. :)

Vibe high, friends.


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