Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Worth

Have you ever experienced "imposter syndrome"? If you're not familiar with what that is, it's when you're in a group of qualified and amazing people and you feel like you don't belong. Chances are this has happened to you before. This quite literally described me last week when I went to a Vegan Boss Ladies meeting here in the Phoenix valley.

I was surrounded by all of these beautiful, talented, well-spoken women who have businesses, dreams, and goals they've seen through to fruition. They were philanthropists, educated, brilliant, and passionate. They seemed put together and driven.

And then there I was.

Now, I'm not saying I don't believe in my own self-worth. I know what I'm capable of. I know how much I can do and accomplish. And I know what I've already accomplished. I too have dreams and goals and businesses. In fact, I started a high-five-figure business from the ground up six years ago without a college degree and while working a full-time job. And I did so well with another business venture and ramped up way too quickly that I just couldn't do it on my own and needed to get vulnerable and ask for help. I'm fucking resourceful and powerful, yo. But I'm no businesswoman in most senses of the word. Which brings me to this question:

What do you base your worth on?



Did I not belong in that room because I'm lacking a few skills that could help my businesses boom? Did I not belong in that group because I'm not making that much money even though I'm working just as hard? Did I not belong in that meeting because I'm not as experienced as some of those incredible women?

Or was that just my own fear and insecurity making me fear those things?

It's definitely that: my own fear and insecurity. I was there because I knew I'd meet women I could learn from. I went to that meeting because I knew I'd find people I could help with my skills. I attended because it was outside my comfort zone and something inside me is calling out to be a total badass in every area of my business. So I had to give it a shot. That didn't stop me from feeling like an imposter because of my lack of a balance sheet, but I also didn't realize I'd feel that way before I got there.

Which makes me even more glad that I went and experienced that.

I wasn't the smartest in the room. I wasn't the prettiest in the room. I wasn't the most experienced in the room. I wasn't the richest one in the room. I might not have been the poorest one in the room, either. But none of that mattered. I just needed to have different skills so I could teach and be taught. We were there to network and gain new opportunities. Being just like them would have defeated the purpose.

So I was worthy of being there just the way I was.


I went there to get help and help out. So I don't need to be making X amount of dollars to be in the group. I don't need to perform a certain function or have a certain business. I just need to be me and do what I do. I will offer whatever help I can and learn whatever anyone will teach me. My willingness to show up was the first step in growing my business and getting serious about my monetary goals. That goal or where I stand today on my way to it has nothing to do with my worth.

What I do about it, however, does.

I don't want money to be part of how I measure my worth. Instead, I'll measure that by how much good I do. How much I contribute to the collective good. What kind of energy I put out into the universe. How much I help others. How much I get done in my own life. How close I inch toward my own goals.

My worth is based on who I am, not how much of a living I make. 

Am I happy? Yes. Do I enjoy what I do? Yes. Am I blessed to work at home? Yes. Do I work hard as hell? Yes. Am I productive with my time? Yes. Do I love my work? Yes. Am I helping other people? Yes. Do I learn as I create content? Yes.

Then what in the heck was I feeling inadequate about? Money. It was just money. I felt illegitimate because I'm not making money. I felt like I didn't belong because I don't have all the skills for my businesses. I felt like an imposter because I treat my businesses like they're full-time hobbies instead of getting real about the business side of things.

But my worth doesn't revolve around money and that's that.


That meeting has brought so many things to light for me. Whether or not anything external comes from having gone to it almost doesn't matter. I've learned so much about myself and how I feel about things that it was 100% worth it already.

I've learned humility and that I need to ask for help because I can't do it all. I've learned that part of me is okay with writing always being a hobby because then I'll continue to love it and not feel pressure. I've learned that another part of me has been hiding behind many fear-based excuses. And I've learned that another part of me is sick of it.

Can you relate to any of this? Have you ever felt inadequate for any reason? Remember that you're not. You're just YOU. You're always capable of learning new skills, writing a different story, and creating a better outcome for yourself. Whoever you are today is magic, and you are in the perfect position to grow into the person you're going to become. Never lose sight of that.

Vibe high, friends.



PS - If you're up for it, set some new goals to banish the idea that you aren't worthy of achieving them. Use my Goal-Setting Worksheet (totally free!) to write the (reasonable) goal, set a deadline, name a reward, and record step-by-step tasks to achieving the goal. You'll get there in no time with this method, and it'll make you feel really accomplished.

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